I guess there is only 2 person in my life whom i considered as my best friend till now. & sad to say i have drifted away from them now. & i feel that i am the problem. I have this fear to ask people out first or initiate a conversation. Yes you must be thinking "hey then that is not your bestfriend. You should be so so so comfortable with that person before calling him/her your best friend. Calling them shouldn't be a problem at all." But that is the thing about me. Even though i sincerely treat someone as my best friend i still worry that they will get sick of me one day. I want to be so crazily attached to them all the time it makes me scare.
Its always easy to be good friend with someone who you see almost every single day. But when distance comes into the situation, things get a little tougher. & the lucky me always have best friend who are very popular among everyone so they tend to have a lot of good friends & all. Sometimes its just difficult for them to make as much time for you like in the past. I understand that that is not an excuse but i don't think anyone can deny that distance certainly affect the friendship. Just more or less. Not saying that you will not be friends anymore la. But less close right? Or maybe is just me?
This has actually affected me quite a bit. & the past few years i choose not to be so close to anyone because i fear that something like this will happen again. I don't want to spend days emo-ing about how things change so quickly. But now i feel that its time for me to change. Like seriously. If not one day i will really be left with nothing.
