How we met
My boyfriend, WB (now fiancee) & i met during our poly days. We were lecture mates who somehow got together in a clique because of my dear friend ky. We weren't actually that close during our first year in the clique. You know how usually a clique has a lot of people but you are actually only close to 1 or 2 of them? He was the one who i didn't really talk much to.
So how did it begin
I could vaguely remember that we got closer through msn. He will randomly chat me up & we will talk about random stuff. At that point of time we were both dating someone else (my definition of dating is going on dates with people not like official boyfriend or girlfriend). Sometimes we will talk about relationship matters. I slowly got more comfortable with him & start to share more about myself. At one point of time, i was texting a guy from our lecture hall & he was chasing a girl, lets name her A. So we will share our excitement & worries. Haha thinking back it was quite funny. I still remember sharing my thoughts on how to chase that girl & what not.
Somehow my "date" didn't work out & soon his didn't too. I still remember him telling me that he bought a gift for A. But he didn't give it to her because he didn't feel like giving anymore. & i actually felt that he was crazy hahaha. Like why would you prepare a gift for someone & not give it to her?! SIAO.
Then there was this day when the clique plan to meet up for a horror movie at night. & me being the scaredy cat i am didn't want to watch it because the show was around 10pm & the very next day is the first day of Chinese 7th month. But with much persuasion by my dear friend ky, i still went. (oh ya, just to add on, the people who went that day do not stay near me, so it means i have to go home alone). The movie ended at around 11:45pm & i was so desperate to rush off. This was when WB came up to me & ask if i will be okay going home alone. I told him i will be fine & said goodbye to them as they were all taking bus & i will be taking the train back. It was 2 different direction.
As i was walking towards the train station, WB came up to me. Curious, i ask him where he was going. I thought he has an impromptu 2nd plan so he needed to take the train instead. But he just look at me & say " let me send you home". I was quite taken aback but soon brush it off thinking he was joking. I realized he was serious only when the train arrived at my station & he went down with me. I told him again that i am really fine, he don't have to send me back. But he insisted. That was the first time we hang out together alone, just the 2 of us.
We chatted the way back & it was surprisingly comfortable. There wasn't any awkward silence which is good. I soon got home & told him to drop me a text when he reach home. The texting continued through the night & days after. We eventually got even closer due to the constant texting. & on one random day he asked me out for a movie. I immediately agreed & ask who else is joining. He told me that everyone else in the clique have watched the show so it will only be the 2 of us. & i actually believed him -.-
We went to Grand Cathay for the movie (inception) & he send me home after the show. Soon he ask me out more often, which i agreed to go. I started to notice that his attitude towards me is a little different. He takes extra care of me. For example when i accidentally scratch myself (which i always do), he will go and buy cream for me to apply. & whenever i talk to him about other guys who i go out with, he seems to answer me coldly. So me being me, straightforward as hell, i texted him one night asking why he was acting this way. & guess what, i got a full page long message back. He told me that he actually likes me & hope we can be more than friends. I was quite surprise that he just told me everything like that. To be honest i wasn't ready for it. I remember telling him that i wasn't ready but i don't mind going out with him & try to make this work. But no promises. He agreed to it & we continue going out.
I told KY everything & she was very supportive of this relationship just like everyone else in the clique. Just to side track, WB is actually a very brave guy. Haha. After he confess to me, he is totally not trying to hide that he is chasing me. Like he show it to everyone, soon my classmates & lecture mates realized. & many told me to give him a chance. Quite popular ah this guy. Hahaha, so many supporters. But of course there are some people who don't think we should be together.
Soon, we officially got together during a bus ride home. I still remember the day we got together is right after our FPM exam. The scariest module of all. I was telling him, i was so happy & stress free that day. What a good day haha. *Never did i know i made the best choice of my life that day*
Honeymoon period? Not for us
The first few months for us was hell. We didn't agree on anything. It was fine when we were friends because you don't expect that much from a friend. I felt that he was insensitive & he felt that i am being unreasonable which i have to admit now, i was. We quarrel so many times, i couldn't even count. Back then, i really didn't think we can last so long. But thanks to his patience & perseverance, we managed to sort things out. Communication is really the key for a relationship to last. He always give in to me & sit me down to talk about the problem. Soon we clear our misunderstandings & everything got better.
Graduation & Army
Soon we graduated & i became really stress up over certain things which i don't wish to elaborate on. My skin starts to go crazy. Breakouts after breakouts. I didn't know what to do because it is the first time i was battling acne, My confidence level drop to the lowest. & due to the stress i was handling, my mood is always bad. I didn't want to go out, i didn't want to see anyone. I would take it out on him whenever i'm in a bad mood. He was in BMT then. Despite having his own problems & stress, he still hang on to me. That was when i really see him as someone i can be with for long. Despite my attitude & hideous face, he didn't leave me. I don't think i can find another someone who is willing to be there for me like him. With my family & his help, my skin eventually got better. (Not that is good now but definitely better than then). I still remember having a staycation with him during my acne days, i told him to sleep first because i didn't want him to see me without make up. It was that bad. & when i went to sleep beside him, thinking he was asleep. He turn over, kiss me on the forehead & told me that he loves me. It might mean nothing much to a normal couple but to me, at that moment, i was so touched. Like even now when i think back, i still feel like crying. haha emotional much.
The next few years ...
Things went smoothly & we were slowly going into the comfortable zone in our relationship.
We still have small tiffs every now & then but it was nothing major. He was doing good in army & i was slowly getting used to working.
Comfortable/ Too Comfortable
It is dangerous when someone becomes too comfortable in a relationship. Dates become hanging out at his place. Text becomes lesser than before, not because love is lesser but because you trust him/her more now. But this could easily be mistaken by either party. & girls being the more sensitive gender will often get affected more. "Does he still love me?", "Is he getting bored of me?", Questions like that starts to pop. Small little things that he forget starts to make you feel that he doesn't care. This is where many relationships end. I cannot deny, i did have questions like that too. But i am glad we managed to talk things out. One thing i must say is WB is super good at this. He will never let a problem go by unsolved. Like whenever he notice something is wrong with me, he will sit me down and make sure we talk things out. We never had any "cold war". Everything is solve within 24hrs. & to me this is so important.
Just to share because this is too true (but i think boring is a word that i wouldn't use):
Every relationship gets boring and it will get boring after you’ve been together for years. It’s always fun in the beginning. It’s always exciting when you’re getting to know each other. It’s always thrilling to chase one another. Eventually, it gets hard. Eventually, it becomes difficult. Eventually, it drains you. That’s when people tend to quit and goes looking for someone else because the “spark” is gone and they want to feel wanted, admired and be loved again. But listen, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. No, that’s not how it works. It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if it does get boring, that’s when you’re supposed to remember why you’re with that person in the first place and it’s never to late to find that happiness that you both once found together because the truth is, it’s always been there and it never left. Even when it feels like feelings are fading, that’s when you’re supposed to know how much this person means to you and what losing them would be like because being able to love someone even when they’re being hard to love shows that your feelings never left. Even when it feels like you’re done, that’s when you’re supposed to realize that no matter who you’re with, its always going to get “boring” so you might as well be with someone whose willing to love you unconditionally and won’t ever give up on you. -Teddy Nguyen
Constant
I start to enjoy the comfortable stage in our relationship better. There is no mind games needed (like during the dating period). There is nothing to hide, you can burp in front of each other & laugh it off. No need to look good all the time. Having a bad day, just run to him/ her & blurt out all that you want to say. Because you know he will always be there for you & will never judge you for what ever nonsense you say.
Something i wrote on tumblr on our 5th year
I was genuinely happy.
Part 1 shall end here. Is currently 1:14am, i am going to bed.
Nights world.
